


I’ll go to you first, at the end of a different road

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Infidelity, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, short chapters i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-13 20:55:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14120634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's hard to pretend everything is just fine when his insides burst into flames every time he looks at him. When his heart starts beating like crazy every time he catches him staring back. It's hard to be okay when he belongs to someone else and the gold band around his ring finger is a painful reminder of it.[the one where Jungwoo wants what he can't have.. or can he]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Instead of sleeping, I decided to write this.  
> Few years ago I wrote a short story with the same idea, but original characters. This time, it's Dowoo. And hopefully better than the first version.  
> If you like this, please leave a comment/kudos.  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> (as i mentioned in the tags, the first chapter is short, but it will get longer, i promise)

The taxi leaves and Jungwoo huffs as he puts down the very last of his suitcases. The house is huge. How the hell is she able to afford that, he'd like to know.

"You're here!" She screeches from the front door and he smiles widely at the sight of his sister.

"Hi!" They hug and it lasts for good two minutes. They haven't seen each other in ages and Jungwoo feels like he's going to cry because he missed her so damn much.

"How have you been?"

"Wonderful!" she beams and he winces. She left without a word few years ago, when she decided that the family business isn't for her, that she needs something more, something better. And it kind of hurts to know that she has been doing amazing without them, without him.

"But of course, I missed my favorite little brother."

"I'm literally your only brother."

"Exactly." She smiles and her smile reminds him so much of mom, it's scary how alike the two of them look.

She helps him with the bags and together they enter the house. It's huge inside,just as expected, modern.  On the walls there are paintings he's never seen before. "Yours?" he looks at her and she nods, still grinning. She shows him the rest of the house and then finally, his room.

"I hope you'll like it here." Jiyeon says, sitting on his bed. He nods, already sure of it. Of course he will. He moved here because it's really close to the university he's been admitted to, thus he doesn't have to look for a room to rent or stress over roommates he doesn't know or like. Plus he finally gets to spend some time with his sister.

"Are you hungry?"

He only nods, again. He's tired from the long train ride and he wants to take a nap but he also so desperately wants to be with Jiyeon that the sleep can wait for a little bit. And he's actually quite hungry.

"I didn't get any better at cooking." she laughs. "But I still make a pretty good ramyeon."

"I missed your ramyeon." Jungwoo laughs and watches his sister cook silently. Ocasionally, he answers when he's asked but other than that, he's quiet. It's a comfortable silence.

"Any boys you met during summer?" Jiyeon suddenly asks and Jungwoo chokes on air.

"How-?"

"Oh come on, I am not blind? And I know you! " Of course she does, why is he even surprised.

"Didn't met anyone who would be worth the time and effort." He admits. And it's the truth. He wants the special something. He wants his heart to beat faster when he looks at this special someone, he wants his cheeks to turn red, he wants to feel the animalistic want. But that has never happened, not even once.

They eat just as quietly, just clinking of the chopsticks can be heard. He was afraid it's going to be weird and awkward to be with Jiyeon after such a long time, but it really isn't. And he's happy for that.

"I'll wash the dishes." he offers when they're done eating and Jiyeon nods, stepping away.

"Thank you, little brother."

"I am not little," he huffs in annoyance.

***

He decides to take a nap after that. The nap ends up being four hours long ad when he wakes up, everything feels like underwater and he's dizzy. Slowly, he gets out of the bed and out of the room. His legs are still bit wobbly, but he manages to walk down the stairs without falling and dying. He enters the living room and freezes.

There, in the middle of the said room, is his sister kissing a guy. A guy he has never seen. Not that he can see much of him when he's being eaten alive by Jiyeon.

Jungwoo clears his throat and they seperate quickly, blushing furiously.

"Care to introduce me?" he says, biting back his laugh. Jiyeon nods and Jungwoo steps closer to the mysterious man.

"Doyoung, this is Jungwoo, my little brother." She says and they shake hands. The man is slightly smaller than Jungwoo but still taller than his sister. He has really handsome features and  his smile is pretty.

"She talked about you all the time." Doyoung smirks and _oh._ Jungwoo can't really say the same, he didn't even know that Doyoung existed. But he also notices that his voice is really nice. Calming almost.

"And Jungwoo, this is Doyoung. My husband."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hi, I'm alive. So here is another chapter. Please, leave any kind of feedback. ♥

_Husband?_

Jungwoo keeps staring at Jiyeon who giggles nervously. "I know, I should have told you about it. I am sorry."  
  
He should answer. Like normal people do. But the only thing he can do is just staring at Jiyeon and at Doyoung. "How long."

Jiyeon scratches the back of her head. "Two years."

Jungwoo feels stupid, he thought that his sister would tell him such thing. He wanted to attend her wedding. But she didn't need him there, didn't want him there.

"I'm gonna take a nap." No one needs to know that he just took one. Jiyeon's face falls.

"Woo, look, I know. I should have told you. I just... you know dad. He wouldn't approve."

"I didn't need his approval to be at your wedding. Was there anyone, _anyone_ from our family?"

She shakes her head and Jungwoo starts laughing, loud and bitter. He feels like an idiot. He feels hurt and betrayed.  He wants to get out. Be alone. Feel sad and petty on his own. Doyoung's presence irritates him, he's just staring there, looking at him like everything is just peachy when it's not.

"I'm gonna take a nap." he repeats and runs up the stairs to his room. He can hear Doyoung yelling something about not running in the house but he doesn't care. He doesn't want to think about him. He wants to be alone and watch sad movies and think about how unfair it is that his sister, his best friend, didn't even feel the need to tell him that she got married. Maybe he's overreacting but she means so much to him and knowing that she doesn't feel the same way about him is just hurting him.

He ends up just laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. Will he ever meet someone who he will  love so much that he will want to spend the rest of his life with him? Is he capable of such feeling? He wants to meet the love of his life, he really wants to have his own epic love story. He's just never met anyone who would make him feel _that_ way. Who would make him think _I don't want to leave this person, ever._ And he needs to feel that. He needs to feel the special connection.

Maybe he just expects too much from relationships.

***

"I want you to like him. I want you two to be friends."

"I have enough friends in New York." Jungwoo answers, internally wincing at Jiyeon's face. "I'm sorry sis, but I don't even know that guy."

"Then give him a chance? Please?"

Few days have passed. He tried to be hurt but soon enough he realized he just can't. They all live together now. He has to man up. And enjoy being with Jiyeon after such a long time. No matter what she did or didn't do.

"Please, Jungwoo, for me. I know that you're an extremely nice person. And I know he'll love you. Let him love you."

He just groans. He doesn't know anything about that man, beside the fact that he married his sister. And that he's also a Kim, that's why her name didn't change. "Okay, I will try. Is he home today?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" she smiles softly and he scoffs. "Yea, he is."

When she leaves to work, he hesitates. On one hand, he knows she's right. He should give him a chance. After all, it's not _his_ fault he didn't know about his existence.

He sighs, placing his mug on the kitchen counter, and goes to the living room. Doyoung is sitting on the couch, writing something into his notebook. Jungwoo stands nervously beside the couch, basically looking straight into the notebook.

"What are you writing?"

Doyoung looks up, taken aback. "Uhm. Hi."

"What are you writing?" Jungwoo asks again, sitting down next to the elder, taking the notebook from his hands, reading the sentences written all over the white pages.

"You're a writer?" Jungwoo feels dumb because he never heard of Doyoung, but damn he's good.

"No." Doyoung laughs nervously, reaching for his notebook but Jungwoo's not willing to give it back just yet.

"Why not? You're good." He says and means it. The way Doyoung describes things is just amazing. He feels like he's there, in the story, himself.

"I'm writing just for myself." The elder mumbles, snatching the damn notebook from Jungwoo's hands.  "And I don't want anyone to read it."

"I just did." Jungwoo points out and sits more comfortably on the couch. "Jiyeon wants me to give you a chance, so here I am."

Doyoung smiles softly and Jungwoo can feel his stomach flipping. Oh. He's _cute._ "I'm glad."

Jungwoo huffs to hide the fact that his heart beats way too fast. Because it shouldn't. It really really shouldn't.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello   
> I'm back. I had to take a short break to figure out what exactly I want to do with this fic and where is it going. I still don't have it all figured out but what I got is good enough for me.  
> If you like this mess, please leave a comment, seeing your reactions keeps me going.

Jungwoo doesn't want to like Doyoung, that's the thing. For some reason he decided that it's too much effort. On the other hand, it's hard not to like Doyoung because that man is just...adorable. Not only that, but he's also very funny and smart and he's interested in Jungwoo. And it's not fake. Jungwoo has been on enough dates to know when someone's asking about his life just because they feel like they have to.  With Doyoung, it's different. He gets his weird sense of humor, asks questions that no one else ever asked. Jungwoo feels _interesting_ with him.

"Jiyeon would be happy is she saw us like this." Doyoung smiles and the younger scoffs.

"Just because we're talking doesn't mean we're friends."

"Oh please, you know you already love me! Don't try to deny it, I can see it in your eyes." Doyoung leans in and Jungwoo's heart skips a beat. Then the elder boops his nose and Jungwoo rolls his eyes so hard that they almost get stuck.

"What the hell was that?"

"You're cute." Doyoung states matter of factly and Jungwoo rolls his eyes some more. He can't believe this man. He can't believe himself either. And he can't believe Jiyeon was right. He likes him - No, he likes spending time with him. That are two completely different things, obviously. Just because he finds the guy cute doesn't mean he  _likes_ him, right?

And, he's doing this just for Jiyeon. He loves his big sister to pieces and if she wants him to hang out with Doyoung, he'll do it. For her. He's only doing this for her.

_But then why the hell can't he stop looking at Doyoung's stupidly wide grin?_

"Can I read the rest of the story?" Jungwoo asks after a while and Doyoung glances at him.

"You really want to?"

"Yes! I haven't read much, but I liked it." he says, completely honest. He loves reading and Doyoung apparently likes writing so that's good for both of them, right?

"It's nothing special." He hands the younger his notebook. "I'll rewrite it anyway."

"Let me be the judge." Jungwoo huffs as Doyoung sits down on the couch next to him. Then the younger turns around, lays his head on Doyoung's lap and starts reading. His brother in law laughs nervously.

"Comfortable?"

"well.. not really, but it's good enough." Then he shuts up, completely focused on the story. There's no denying, Doyoung is good at what he's doing. And Jungwoo doesn't understand why the hell he hasn't published anything yet.

The storyline is interesting, the plot twists unexpected and the characters are amazingly described. The atagonist has such greatly described past that Jungwoo feels almost sorry for them. It's good, very good, and it's something people would be willing to pay to read.

"I think you should publish it."

"I think not." Doyoung replies, mindlessly playing with Jungwoo's hair which feels both strange and freaking amazing at the same time and it sends tingles down the younger's spine.

"Why not? You're good. You could make living out of this. So why not?"

"I like my job." Doyoung shrugs and he can't help but groan.

"You work in a museum. No one likes that job. You obviously like writing more, I can tell!" he sits up, facing the elder. "Please, try it? I know you can do it, I'm sure you'd do amazing as a writer. If you don't believe in yourself, I will believe in you for you."

Doyoung blushes and so does Jungwoo. Wow. That was a speech. But he means it. All of it.

"I guess I'll try? After it's finished, that is." Doyoung sighs and takes the notebook out of Jungwoo's hands. Then he stands up, glancing over his shoulder into the kitchen. "Are you hungry, Jungs?"

"Jungs?" the said boy scrunches up his nose. "So we're making up nicknames for each other now?" But he nods anyway, because yes. He is hungry. He didn't realize how much time he spent reading the story but he's starving right now. "Still. Nicknames?"

Doyoung rolls his eyes at that, chuckling. "Of course, that's what best friends do."

"You're weird." _But in a good way._

"You like me." Doyoung shoots back. And he's probably right.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say that this story isn't supposed to be slowburn, so please, don't expect that. Also i know this chapter is really short but I wanted to post at least something. I'll try to post more often, now when I finished my other fanfiction, and I will try to make the chapters longer and better.  
> Please leave a comment or something. Love you

Horrified, Jungwoo gets to the realization that he actually likes Doyoung. They started to spend way more time together and while that is a good thing, the fact that Jungwoo likes him the way he does isn't good in the slightest.

He's well aware that the man is attractive and he is smart and funny. And Jungwoo wishes he didn't feel like this towards him. Because Doyoung is a husband of his beloved sister. He's his brother in law, he's a part of the family. And Jungwoo can't act on his feelings.

At first, he tried to tell himself that it was just a stupid meaningless crush. But weeks have passed since then and the feelings are still the same, strong, and always there, in the back of his mind.  
And it's like the older one knows. He always stares at him when they're in the same room and smirks when Jungwoo looks back at him. He's walking around without a shirt on and holy crap, Jungwoo would never think that he has such a nice body but hell yes he does.

He's basically everything Jungwoo wants. And everything that he can't have. And no matter how much he's trying to make it seem like he's okay and everything is alright... he can't. Not all the time, at least. It's hard to pretend everything is just fine when his insides burst into flames every time he looks at him. When his heart starts beating like crazy every time he catches him staring back. It's hard to be okay when he belongs to someone else and the gold band around his ring finger is a painful reminder of it. And he's married to his sister, for God's sake.

This has to go away somehow, he tries to assure himself that if he stops thinking about him, if he's not around him as often anymore, it will go away. It has to.

But that's proven to be harder than he thought because Doyoung is _Doyoung_ and he wants to be around the younger almost all the time, when it's just the two of them in the house. And sometimes even when Jiyeon is home. Which is even more painful because his sister usually joins them and then they're all over each other and Jungwoo wants to cry and puke at the same time.

***

"Thinking again?" Jiyeon smiles and puts his plate in front of him. "Eat, we have to leave soon."

"We're going somewhere?" he suddenly looks up, confused. "Why wasn't I told?"

"Because it was meant to be a surprise." Doyoung walks in, looking better than ever in his short sleeved t-shirt and very tight jeans. "My parents have a farm. And since I know how much you love animals.."

"Are we going to see them?" Feelings and crushes aside, he's going to be around _animals_ , and he feels like on the top of the world.   
Jiyeon nods and then her phone rings. She huffs and leaves to room.

"So.." Doyoung leans against the door frame. "Excited?"

"Are you kidding? Very! Do they have pigs? Pigs are adorable, I'd like to see a pig."

Doyoung laughs at that and Jungwoo's heart clenches. It's one of his favorite sounds ever.

"Yes, they do have pigs."

"And you'll have to see them without me." Jiyeon says, sadly. "I gotta go to work. I'll see you tonight."   
Then she grabs he purse and leaves. Jungwoo blinks.

"So just...the two of us? Again?"

"Is it bad?" Doyoung pouts and it takes all of the younger's willpower not to kiss him.

"No, of course it is not. Let's go. I want to see the pigs." then he smirks. "Though I have you right here."

"I'm gonna beat your ass one day." Doyoung mumbles and Jungwoo laughs, adding without thinking: "Kinky."

Then it gets really awkward when Doyoung widens his eyes and he realizes what he said. That will be a great trip, seriously.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyoo wassup, this time I actually tried to write something longer, how cool is that?  
> AnywaY, if you like this mess of a chapter, please leave a comment, or any kind of feedback, it really keeps me going.  
> Thank youu  
> xx

The ride is really awkward at first, Jungwoo is afraid to say basically anything and it seems like Doyoung feels the same. But they're going to be in the car for a while and he really doesn't want to pretend like he's not even there for another hour.

"Look... can we just pretend I never said that?" He turns around to look at Doyoung who keeps his eyes on the road.

"I don't know what you're talking about." the older replies and Jungwoo huffs and opens his mouth to answer when it dawns on him.

"Oh."

Doyoung glances at him and smiles widely. "It's okay, you know? It's not like you said something awful. It was actually kind of funny, just unexpected. Don't beat yourself over it."

Jungwoo's breath hitches at the sight of  Doyoung's blinding smile. Fucking hell. Why does he have to like him?

"So..school starts in two weeks, right? Are you excited?"

"Kind of,"Jungwoo nods. He is excited, if you can call it that, because it means he won't be around Doyoung that often. Which means that this stupid crush wil eventually go away.  "But it also means that I won't be home most of the time." He has no idea why he said that. No freaking clue. It's not like he expects Doyoung  to miss him or anything.

"That sucks. I kind of got used to spending time with you."

The younger feels himself blush. "Oh stop it."

"I'm serious." Doyoung chuckles. "I like you."

Jungwoo just sighs, not saying anything because he likes him too. Just differently.

He falls asleep for a bit and when he wakes up, they're already there. The farm looks beautiful. It's like that kind of farm you see or hear about in fairytales. He can already hear the animals and his heart skips a beat. He can't wait to see them.

His and Jiyeon's grandparents used to have a farm too. He loved it there. His grandparents were amazing,kind people. Jungwoo aspires to be like them one day. And he still misses them. He misses the farm and the days he spent there with them. His parents sold the property after their death and he still feels like they betrayed them. His granny always wanted him to live there one day. And now he cannot.

So this feels like a dream. There's something about this place that feels familiar and he can't help but love it here already.

"You with me?" Doyoung asks, placing his palm on Jungwoo's shoulder. The younger one nods, grabbing his backpack from the back seat.

"Your parents are home?" he asks and Doyoung hums which Jungwoo takes as a yes. He gets a bit nervous because he's really awkward around people he has never met before but he tells himself to man up because he wants to look around their farm, after all.

"My gosh, Doyoung, hi!" A woman, probably Doyoung's mom, runs towards them to greet her son. Jungwoo smiles at that because he finds it just adorable how Doyoung's expression changed from neutral to the happiest, with the most blinding grin.

"Mom!Hi!" He kisses her cheek and then steps away to reveal Jungwoo who is still standing in the doorway. "I brought a guest."

"You must be Jungwoo. Doyoung talked about you the other day."

Jungwoo laughs awkwardly. "Hopefully he didn't say anything bad."

"Oh not at all!" she smiles widely, her smile very similiar to Doyoung's. "He likes you a lot."

 _Yeah, Mrs Kim, I like him a lot too,_ he thinks but says nothing. He can't say this out loud. No one can never know. Plus, he's sure that it's nothing serious and it will pass. He can't like his sister's husband, it's messed up.

"Jungs here is really excited to see the animals here." Doyoung's voice brings him back to reality. He blinks several times before smiling shyly and nodding.

"Doyoung, honey, could you show him then? I'll make something to eat for you." The older boy nods immediately, taking Jungwoo by his arm and leads him through the house to the backdoor. Then, they're walking around the farm and Doyoung shows him all the animals his parents have. It's not much but they have pigs and they're really cute and Jungwoo loves it.

"Why do you like them so much? I mean, they're pigs." Jungwoo looks up, almost offended.

"They're actually very smart animals you know. I see much more in them than just a bacon. They're adorable."

Doyoung opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by his mom who is calling them. "Let's go. Mom would be mad if we didn't eat what she made."

***

The rest of the time they spend on the farm flies by fairly quickly. Jungwoo is enjoying himself so much that he actually lost track of time and suddenly, Doyoung is telling him that they have to leave.

"Jiyeon is waiting for us." he says, as they get in the car and Jungwoo wants to cry out. Yes. Jiyeon. His beloved sister that he completely forgot about as he was enjoying his time with Doyoung too much.

He really can't wait for the school to start. He needs his mind to be occupied by something or even someone else than Doyoung,it's driving him crazy. He wanted his own epic love story and this is what he got. Yes, he's feeling that special _something_ every time he looks at Doyoung, but it's Doyoung for God's sake. It's a man he can't have, ever. Not only that he's married, which is bad as it is, but his wife is Jungwoo's sister. And he can never hurt her like this. Not that he has any chance with Doyoung anyway.

They're quiet on the way home. Doyoung tries to start a conversation several times but Jungwoo just doesn't feel like talking. The older probably senses that because he gives up on trying.  
When they arrive, Jungwoo tries to get out of the car as soon as possible but Doyoung stops him. He grabs his arm and pulls him close to him.

"What's wrong?" he asks and he is so close that Jungwoo can smell his cologne and it's overwhelming.

"Nothing's wrong?" he says, hoping that Doyoung will give up, once again, and let him leave. Instead, he leans in, he's even closer now, and Jungwoo can basically count all the yellow spots in his brown eyes. Then he looks down, eyes following the line of his nose down to his lips which look more kissable then ever. When he looks up, he notices Doyoung looking at _his_ lips. And everything inside him scream _kiss him kiss him kiss him._ He moves even closer, their foreheads almost touching. He pouts because he want Doyoung to make the first move and then his heart stops when he actually sees Doyoung leaning in and then - he sneezes.   
Fortunately he's lucky enough that he covered his mouth so he didn't spit all over Doyoung's face but it certainly ruined the mood. Whatever mood it was.

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd


End file.
